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LOTUS COUNSELING CENTER

10 Signs it's Time for You to Seek Anger Management Therapy

 

Are your reactions to feelings of anger disrupting your life? If so, there's a good chance you can benefit from professional help. Here are 10 of the most compelling signs that it's time for you to seek anger management therapy.

Everyone feels angry from time to time. It's human to get upset when things don't go our way or when someone has crossed a personal boundary. But, that doesn't mean people should go about their lives being angry every single day.

Such a high rate of anger takes what is normal out of proportion. It creates anger management issues that are hard for an individual to reverse on their own, let alone recognize. This person might be you.

Realizing you need anger management therapy isn't easy, but it is necessary. There's no sense in you living such an angry, high-stress life if there's help available to get you to a better place.

Don't think anger management is for you? If you experience any of the following symptoms, you might have to think again.

 

1. You Get Into Arguments Easily

People with anger issues are argumentative. It becomes part of their design to create an argument where there isn't one, because angry people are always on defense. They don't like to feel like someone is trying to one-up them or look down on them, even when the other person hasn't done anything wrong.

Sound familiar?

Ask yourself how many arguments you've gotten into today or this week. Try to think of what the other person did that was so bad you had to snap on them. They may have been a stranger, a service person (i.e. waiter, cashier), or a close friend.

Still, ask yourself what made you snap and if it was really necessary.

 

2. You React Fast and/or Automatically Choose Violence

Take a second to consider what it means to "snap." People say this about a person who has anger management problems when he/she is fine one second then bursting with anger the next. When you snap, you go from a normal demeanor to being theangriest person in the room in just a few seconds.

Maybe you're not only voicing your anger, either. If you're the first to throw a punch or get in someone's face, you likely have an anger management problem. This doesn't just tell people you're upset, it tells them you're choosing violence as a way to resolve the problem.

This makes the need for anger management therapy even more important. The last thing you want is to end up in a fistfight at a bar, getting charges pressed against you for your violence, and/or physically hurting someone you care about.

 

3. You Find Yourself Having the Same Problems with People

Speaking of the people you care about, consider their experience with your anger. You probably find yourself in the same arguments with the same people over and over. This could be with your parents, siblings, roommate(s), or romantic partner.

Whoever you're always arguing with, though, it's probably because they're trying to make you realize you have temper problems. Maybe they say you need an attitude adjustment or they try approaching the subject by showing you the bruises you've caused them.

They're not trying to guilt you or upset you, they're trying to make you realize the real issue at hand.

Try not to get so defensive with the people who want to help you. Remember, they're doing it because they care, but they won't keep putting themselves in the same argument with you over and over.

At some point, these people will realize they're getting nowhere with you and only hurting themselves; they'll start to pull away and create distance. If you've seen this happening in your life already, it's time to notice what the real problem is: you.

 

4. You Place Blame and Use Judgement

Everyone who deals with anger management loves to blame other people for their anger. There comes a time when you have to take a look in the mirror and realize you're the elephant (or ticking time bomb) in the room.

Do you blame others for making you upset? Do you wish certain people in your life would be "less annoying" or, maybe, more understanding? You have to be willing to meet them halfway.

If you're not, chances are you're using anger as a crutch. Maybe you have past issues with certain people that you've kept pent up instead of letting out in a healthy manner. Maybe the anger you're dealing with your significant other or your parents is theresult of someone else's scar they've left on you.

Blame doesn't just come up with people you know, either. If you have anger issues, you probably blame others when...

  • they bump into you - even if you were in their way
  • they get your order wrong - even if the whole restaurant is packed/behind
  • other people "make you late" - even if you left late and knew there would be traffic

These are just a few examples when minor, everyday frustrations turn into something more. You don't have to blame someone every single time things go wrong.

Sometimes, life happens and it's no one's fault. Also, sometimes, the fault is nobody's but yours and you have to learn how to deal with that too.

 

5. You've Punched a Wall Before

If your way of dealing with things is punching a wall, get anger management therapy right away. The next time you go to hit a wall could very well land you in serious trouble if you end up damaging public property or hitting someone else.

Not to mention, it's hard to turn things around once a person's anger gets to that point. If you're already there, you need all the help you can get. Going to therapy may be the turnaround your life has been waiting for, but first, you have to understand why you need it in the first place.

 

6. You've Broken Objects During Arguments

Maybe you haven't reached the wall-punching level of having anger issues yet, but you have resulted to violence with other objects. Have you thrown plates or other kitchen items across the house? Have you shattered lamps or slammed your fist down on tables?

If these are habits you've created, you need to unlearn them. There's no sense in having so much anger for everything in your life, especially inanimate objects.

Also, consider if you've kicked at or punched something other than walls. It's not uncommon for people with anger management to slam doors, kick car tires, or throw their purses or other belongings. There are even times when people get so angry they kick a dog or a street cat.

The anger rarely ever has to do with the object you're being violent with. Almost always, it's an expression of deeper things going on inside that you have to let out in a healthier manner. Anger management therapy can show you what that's like.

 

7. You're Passive Aggressive

What if you're pretty good about not punching walls or throwing objects? What if instead, your anger comes out in the form of passive aggressiveness?

You probably still have an anger management issue.

Think about it: there's no reason for someone who is genuinely happy and at peace with themselves to be passive aggressive toward others. It makes no sense! Happy people are those who smile when speaking to others and who know how to enjoy their days.

This isn't to say that they never feel anger or aren't upset. But, they recognize there are other, better things to focus their energy on.

Passive aggressive people, on the other hand, tend to focus on the negative. They often complain, put others down, and, as previously mentioned, place blame. More so, they do this in a backhanded manner to make the situation sting even more.

In the end, though, you're only hurting yourself.

 

8. You Often Feel Frustrated with Yourself

While it might be hard to realize you need anger management therapy, it's pretty easy to recognize when you're frustrated with yourself. You can only be angry at the world for so long. As such, many people who have anger issues spend their days being angry at themselves.

This can occur for a number of reasons, but the process is usually the same. First, you get mad at someone or something. Then, you lash out and overreact; you may use violence, name-calling, or shouting to try to get your point across. Next, you realize your reaction was wrong and hurtful, and you blame yourself.

The cycle continues like this throughout your day. Over time, the build-up of so much anger toward yourself - and the expression of it toward everyone else - digs you in a whole. The best way to get out is to seek help.

 

9. You "Blackout" When Angry

Sometimes, people land themselves in this theoretical hole without even realizing how they got there. This is known as when a person with anger issues blacks out.

The anger consumes them so much that it's almost like they're another person. When anger is this intense, it's hard to control your actions or even remember them once the anger has faded.

You've blacked out from anger before if you were at the start of an argument one second, then taking in the consequences of all the screaming and violence the next.

You may not even remember what the argument was about or how it escalated, but you can tell something definitely made you mad. The same occurs if you're in a public space enjoying yourself and encounter issues with a stranger.

If anger takes over you then, you can be getting in someone's face one second then outside of the restaurant/bar the next without knowing how you got there.

An anger blackout is like a blink. It can last for a few minutes or maybe a few hours, but for you, it feels like only a few seconds have passed.

 

10. Anger Controls You

If you've ever blacked out due to anger, you know the anger controlled you. It gets to a point where it's so intense that you can't decide what to do or say with a clear head.

But, anger may be controlling you in more subtle ways. People with anger issues often feel on edge. They live with anxiety and find it hard to relax, whether with friends and family or on their own.

These are just a few of the consequences of living with so much anger. At some point, it stops affecting you here and there and starts taking over your whole life.

Anger can create distance in your personal relationships and even end some of them, including the most important ones. It can cut into your productivity and personal development at work and it plays into your overall health, too. Living with so much anger makes you tired and stressed, and it can cause headaches and heart problems.

 

Get the Anger Management Therapy You Need

It's one thing to realize you have anger issues and another to discover what anger management therapy can do for you. There's no need to let your anger continue to grow and harm your life any longer. It's time to take matters into your own hands and realize what it's like to live without any anger issues.

The process doesn't happen overnight. It takes time and dedication, and the willingness to be vulnerable with others and let them in. Put simply, it only works when you do.

If you're ready to take your life back and get rid of all the anger you have inside of you, click here. Your journey to a happier life starts now!

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