OUR BLOG

Keeping Passion Alive After the "Honeymoon Stage" Is Over

Some people enjoy the rush of a new relationship so much that they leap from fling to fling. This can be a problem when they attempt to make a long-term relationship work. Dr. Randi Gunther Ph.D., shares ger blog on how to turn new love's magic into forever love.


Passion and sexuality are synonymous experiences for new lovers. The intensity and sensitivity of their physical attraction to one another are major players in the early stages of their relationship.

Would You Know If Your Teen Was Depressed?

Depression can be difficult to diagnose in adolescents. Screening tests can help keep teens as healthy as possible. Dr. Nandini Mani, MD shares this blog for parents of teenagers, and hopes it will be helpful to you.

Moms and dads of teens — and the doctors who care for these children — know how difficult it can be to identify depression in adolescents. When is your teen simply feeling down or irritable, and when is it something more?

7 Strategies to Jump-Start Your Motivation

When you really want to accomplish something, it helps to create a system of accountability for yourself. We all have things we’d like to accomplish. However, many of us struggle at times in the pursuit of our goals. We lack motivation, have no energy to get started, or don’t know where to begin. We procrastinate or find excuses. Then we judge ourselves harshly for being “lazy” or “slacking.”

Sometimes all we need is a jump-start, a strategy or two to get us moving when we’re feeling stuck or we’ve been idling too long. Laurie Leinwand, MA, LPC shares some tried-and-true ideas:

An Attitude of Gratitude: Seeing the Good Helps You Feel Better

If you find yourself feeling like Debbie Downer, make a list of the things you're most grateful for. Dr. Marla B. Cohen, Psy.D., P.C. shares her thouhts on "An Attitude of Gratitude" and how "Seeing the Good Helps You Feel Better."

Many years ago, I was at home with my now teenage daughter, who was an infant at the time. I was having one of those days as a new mom where everything seemed overwhelming and never-ending. There was laundry to fold, dinner to make, and floors to sweep, but instead I was lying in the middle of the living room, half-listening to Oprah...

Love Smarter by Learning When to Take a Break

It’s Ok To Be ______ .

Anna Halliday, LMHC, a Lotus Counseling psychotherapist, shares her blog on how "It's Okay To Be ____."

As humans, we tend to categorize concepts dichotomously as “good” or “bad,” “right” or "wrong.” We also hold different people to unequivocal expectations within these categories, creating double standards about human experience that are biased based on varying identity markers.

A Journey Toward Change

Dr. Richard Taborga, Psy.D., LMHC, NCC, a Lotus Counseling psychotherapist, shares his blog on "A Journey Toward Change."

There are many roads that lead to therapy and most involve some sort of suffering. Luckily, though stigma still exists, the view of mental health services in the United States has improved over the years. According to a 2015 survey by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention, and the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 90 percent of Americans value mental and physical health equally. People are beginning to make the connection between mental health and overall well-being.

The Path of Least Resistance: Adding More Flow to Your Life

If you are feeling like a ball of anxiety, pay attention to the things that bring you joy. Kim Egel, MA, MFT shares her blog on how you can add more flow to your life.

What’s the path of least resistance?

Simply said, it’s a way of living that contains more flow and ease, and, you guessed it, less resistance. This means less upstream movement, less struggle, and less feeling blocked, ultimately leading to a more enjoyable and less stressful experience of life.

Here are some perspectives to keep in mind to allow for greater life flow:

Perfectionism May Undermine Mental Health of Youth

College students today set very high expectations for themselves, which can by motivating, but also contribute to anxiety and depression. Dr. Rick Nauert, Ph.D. shares his blog on how "Perfectionism May Undermine Mental Health of Youth."

New research suggests the desire to be perfect in body, mind, and career may be taking a toll on college students’ mental health. Investigators discovered the excessive desire to succeed and compete with others has significantly increased compared with prior generations.

I'm Really Glad We Had This Talk

People often avoid discussing problems when they expect nothing except anger and criticism to result. However, doing this is ultimately harmful to a relationship. Richard B. Joelson DSW, LCSW, shares his blog presenting a question, can we feel better after an emotionally charged conversation instead of worse?

One of the major issues confronting so many couples is what is commonly referred to as communication problems. This can mean many things and may cover a wide variety of interactive difficulties between any two people in a relationship.

Balance Awareness Week

Dr. Maria Fernandez, Psy.D, a Lotus Counseling Psychologist, shares her blog on Balance Awareness Week.

In today’s world, it is very difficult to feel as though we live a balanced life. We are constantly making to-do-lists that are never ending. We are trying to juggle our personal, family, and work life all at the same time. In the midst of all this, some of us have children to raise, mortgages to pay, students loans looming over our heads, some of us work various jobs, and then there is LIFE.

Diet and Depression

A healthy lifestyle can be beneficial to patients who suffer from depression, and other mental health disorders. Dr. Monique Tello, MD, MPH shares her blog on "Diet and Depression."

Just this week, I have seen three patients with depression requiring treatment. Treatment options include medications, therapy, and self-care. Self-care includes things like sleep, physical activity, and diet, and is just as important as meds and therapy — sometimes more so.

How to Stop Taking Things Personally

There are certain triggers we all deal with that prompt painful feelings. Getting past them requires us to practice different ways of thinking, including setting boundaries and knowing our worth. Dr. Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D. shares 8 steps to start taking things less personally.

When other people wrong you, and you take their actions personally, it can feel as if you’ve been punched in the gut. I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but when you’re sensitive — or what some might call hypersensitive — you tend to take things pretty personally. You feel everything deeply, even if it has nothing to do with you. If people speak badly about you to your face or behind your back, it’s enough to destroy your sense of self-worth. Sometimes people don’t even have to say anything; you might just interpret their negative facial expressions or body movements as something you did wrong, causing you to conjure up every possible thing you might have said or done to upset them.

Six Common Depression Types - Harvard Health

Depression is not only hard to endure emotionally, but it can take a toll on a person physically. If you experience symptoms of depression, don't be afraid to ask for help. Harvard Health Publishing shares a blog on how ongoing mood, cognitive changes may require professional help.

Depression is not only hard to endure, it is also a risk factor for heart disease and dementia.

Why Are Memories of My Past Trauma Coming Back Now?

Healing from a trauma such as sexual assault or abuse happens in stages. Lisa Nosal, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, shares her blog on "Why Are Memories of My Past Trauma Coming Back Now?"

“I’ve been fine for years. Now I have nightmares every night and can barely function at work. What’s going on?”

World Suicide Prevention Day

September 10th, 2018, is World Suicide Prevention Day. This is a topic that we should pay close attention to because we all have a roll to play when it comes to suicide prevention.

Licensed mental health professionals are equipped to provide the right tools for anyone needing to cope with depression, hopelessness, confusion, anxiety and/or suicidal thoughts. An Individual who attends therapy will be less likely to resist urges to self-harm.

How Realistic Are Your Expectations of Your Partner?

Every relationship is going to have some degree of conflict. Keep perspective on things by thinking about what it is you want from your partner and whether that matches who you fell in love with. Dr. Bernard Golden, Ph.D. shares his thoughts on "How Realistic Are Your Expectations of your Partner? And, to what extent are they fueling anger in your relationship?"

Not All Therapists are Created Equal

Dr. Richard Taborga, Psy.D., LMHC, NCC, a Lotus Counseling psychotherapist, shares his blog on how "Not All Therapists are Created Equal."

Pick me, pick me!!

So you’ve made the courageous decision to go to therapy and now you’re online looking at the first few websites that popped up on your google search.

How Marriage Counseling Can Help Your Relationship

It's hard to identify the exact moment when your marriage goes from happy and healthy to heavy and disheartening. At some point between walking down the aisle and spending nights on the couch, things change.

But, the good news is there's hope for your marriage no matter how rough it might be right now.

Relationship and Marriage Counseling

According to relationship and marriage expert Dr. John Gottman, couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy before getting help. That’s an awfully long time to feel unheard, misunderstood, lonely, disappointed, discouraged, as well as helpless. These relationship dynamics may develop into resentment and bring about the worst in any person. When working with couples, I realize that they have been suffering for a long time before making the courageous decision to seek help, so I want to ensure that they feel validated in their experience and find hope in the therapeutic process.

10 Signs it's Time for You to Seek Anger Management Therapy

Are your reactions to feelings of anger disrupting your life? If so, there's a good chance you can benefit from professional help. Here are 10 of the most compelling signs that it's time for you to seek anger management therapy.

Everyone feels angry from time to time. It's human to get upset when things don't go our way or when someone has crossed a personal boundary. But, that doesn't mean people should go about their lives being angry every single day.

The One Question To Ask Your Partner

Dr. Victoria Raymond, Ph.D., LMFT, a Lotus Counseling psychotherapist, shares her blog on relationships.

“What can I do for you?”
Six magical words that can change the course of a conversation, a day, and sometimes a relationship.

How to Respond Effectively to a Young Person's Anger


When someone is angry is not the time to lecture. Try to break the negative thought cycle with a cool-down period. Signe Whitson L.S.W. shares her blog on How to Respond Effectively to a Young Person's Anger .
How To Ruin Any Relationship


Even small expressions of contempt can devastate a relationship. Be careful not to communicate something to your partner that is harsher than you intended, and speak up if you're receiving contemptuous messages. Meredith Shirey, MS, LMFT , shares her blog on How To Ruin a Relationship .
You Cheated, Now What? Healing Your Relationship After Your Affair
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Before attempting to rebuild a relationship, consider whether that is what you want and then be prepared to let your partner take the lead. Deidre Prewitt, MSMFC, LPC shares her thoughts on Healing Your Relationship After Your Affair.
Sleep Disorders May Signal Depression in Young Athletes
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Student athletes are under a lot of stress and sometimes have disrupted sleep schedules. While hallucinations and sleep paralysis are not unusual for the, they may be disturbing and a sign of another problem. Traci Pedersen shares her research on "Sleep Disorders May Signal Depression in Young Athletes."
National Sister's Day
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August 5th is National Sister’s Day. Sisterhood is a lifelong bond of women who empower each other by sharing their thoughts, secrets, protecting each other, mentoring each other, sharing laughs and memories filled with love.
Communicating honestly and fully is an important part of keeping sex satisfying.
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Communicating honestly and fully is an important part of keeping sex satisfying. Kyle Benson, an Intentionally Intimate Relationship coach, shares 5 Simple Ways to Make Sex More Romantic.
6 Tools That Empowered Me to Quit My Lifelong Eating Disorder
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Robin Raven, a young journalist, recovered from her eating disorder and wants other people to know what worked for her. Below you can read her story an how self-compassion and making decisions in advance were two of the biggest factors.
Friendship, Romance, and Love: Ingredients for a Successful Marriage
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In successful relationships, partners regard each other as friends and regularly demonstrate their affection. Below you can read a blog by Mr. Stuart B. Fensterheim, LCSW, who shares his thoughts on the Ingredients for a Successful Marriage.
Feeling Okay About Feeling Bad Is Good for Your Mental Health
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Studies consistently show that accepting negative emotions is important for psychological health. Dr. David R. Topor, PhD, shares his blog on Feeling Okay About Feeling Bad is Good for Your Mental Health.
When You’re Deeply Ashamed of Your Anxiety
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Don't punish yourself for being unable to handle your emotions. Learn how to talk yourself through them and reach out to us if you need support. Ms. Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. shares her thoughts on how to cope with anxiety.
'When I Was Your Age' And Other Pitfalls Of Talking To Teens About Stress
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The best way to help teenagers cope with social stress is to adapt lessons you taught them earlier about empathy.Seeing things from other peoples' perspective makes the world seem less hostile. Dr. Juli Fraga shares her thoughts on Talking To Teens About Stress.
8 Signs You Should Visit a Therapist
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Nearly all of us struggle with mental health issues from time to time. But how do you know whether or not your problem are serious enough to visit a therapist? Here are 8 sure signs that you might need psychological help.
Arguing Is An Intimate Act
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Dr. Jasmine Davis, Ph.D , shares her blog on how Arguing Is An Intimate Act

Not too long ago, a woman gave a play-by-play via Twitter posts of a couple’s break up. They were all passengers of a plane, and she was a stranger to the couple. The spectator tweeted the couple’s entire exchange of the man breaking up with his girlfriend and also provided visuals of the woman sobbing. The most comical thing for people watching, probably the most embarrassing thing for the couple, is that after the conflict, they started making out.
What To Expect When Seeing A Therapist For The First Time
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Is your first appointment with your new therapist fast-approaching? It's normal to feel anxious before your first visit, especially if you've never seen a therapist before. Here's everything you need to know about what you can expect while seeing a therapist for the first time.
Men's Health Awareness
June is Men’s Health Month, a time used across our nation to raise awareness about health care for men and to encourage young boys, men and families to implement healthy living practices, such as exercise and healthy eating, as well as regular screenings and prevention measures related to men’s health issues.
10 Ways Everyone Can Benefit from Counseling (Even if You Don't Think You Need it)
Lots of people feel nervous about going to therapy or think that they don't really need it. But, there are so many benefits of counseling that everyone can enjoy. Read on to learn how therapy can help you.
FAMILY THERAPY
My dear mother once told me that “children don’t come with a set of instructions; we do the best we can to raise them.” She was incredibly right! Parents do the best they can to raise their children, frequently with the parenting skills that were modelled to them by their own parents...
JUNE IS PTSD AWARENESS MONTH
After experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event, most people have painful memories. For many, the effects of the event fade as time progresses...
MEDITATION AND STRESS AWARENESS
For most people, stress is a part of every day life- a fact of life we learn to live with. However, you should not feel powerless in the face of stress...
SUICIDE PREVENTION AND COPING WITH DEPRESSION...TALKING HELPS!
Talking is hard, but it helps save lives. If you or a loved one are feeling down, depressed, or considering suicide, please reach out for help...
NAVIGATING CHALLENGING TIMES
Lotus Counseling Center invites you to consider these helpful tips when faced with the stress of today’s uncertainty and discord...
RECOGNIZING EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Emotional abuse is characterized by a pattern of behaviors that insults, threatens, rejects, blames, manipulates, isolates, degrades, punishes, humiliates or exerts control over another. Emotional abuse can occur in any significant interpersonal relationship including intimate partnerships, work relationships, and among family and friendships...
MANAGING HOLIDAY STRESS
Don't get buried under holiday stress this year! Keep these quick, easy tips in mind to manage stress during the holidays:
Stick to your self-care routine. Remember to take care of yourself while "taking care of business" by continuing to do the activities that help you relax...
DEMYSTIFYING EMOTIONAL REGULATION

Stressful thoughts and situations often trigger emotional reactions that can cause you to feel uncomfortable, lost, or out of control. However, regulating your emotions is easier than it seems. Detailed below are straightforward methods for harnessing the power of your emotions and channeling challenging moments into positive learning experiences.

  1. Pause.
  2. Ground yourself.
  3. Label your emotions.
  4. Process.
  5. Reflect.

The highly competent therapists at Lotus Counseling Center are well-versed in how to practice emotional regulation. Beginning therapy with one of our staff members can provide you with the tools to be able to pause, ground, label, process and reflect. Call us today to learn more about what you can do to demystify emotional regulation...

COUPLES COUNSELING FOR ONE
I sometimes get calls from individuals who want to come in for couples counseling, but their partner is hesitant, or totally unwilling, to make that first appointment.  Oftentimes the partner who is resistant to therapy feels like they will be blamed for everything wrong in the relationship; he or she might feel uncomfortable speaking about personal problems, or may have had negative experiences in therapy in the past.   But, couples counseling is still an option.  As counterintuitive as it may seem, couples counseling for one can be extremely beneficial to creating a healthy, functional relationship...
KEEPING IT TOGETHER WHILE BREAKING UP
A break-up can be one of the most painful and challenging experiences that life throws at you. Fortunately, this transition can be navigated more smoothly by heading a few easy tips. Read on to learn what you can do to ease the distress and turmoil of breaking up...
WHAT TO EXPECT IN COUPLES COUNSELING
Is your relationship going through a rough patch?  Are you feeling disconnected from your partner?  Have you lost that loving feeling?  Whether you have long standing, deep-rooted issues or just want to create a happier, more loving and passionate partnership...Couples counseling can help get your relationship back on the right track...
TOP 20 PROFESSIONALS UNDER FORTY: DR. MARIA DEL PILAR FERNANDEZ
We are proud to announce we have a celebrity in our midst! Lotus Counseling's Dr. Maria del Pilar Fernandez was chosen by Brickell Magazine for the May/June issue feature: Top 20 Professionals Under Forty!...
THE PATH TO MINDFULNESS: MAKING MEDITATION FUN AND EFFECTIVE
If you're finding it difficult to wind down, decompress, or relax, mindfulness and meditation techniques may be right for you! Mindfulness refers to being present in the moment, noticing one’s surroundings and inner experience as the moment is happening. Mindfulness draws you away from anxious thoughts about the past and future, allowing you to be a part of the present more fully....
THIS EMOTIONAL LIFE: DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE THROUGH AWARENESS
How does that make you feel?” All cliché’s about mental health aside, asking yourself this question from time to time can yield meaningful insights into your emotional world. These insights allow you to better navigate the varied terrain, the dips and peaks, of your life experiences. Learning how to explore and comprehend the nuances of your rich emotional world can be downright therapeutic....
HOW THERAPY CAN MAKE YOUR BUSINESS RELATIONSHIPS WORK!
Maintaining respectful, relationships with co-workers is key to business success, but work demands compress stress and strain onto these relationships. Use your business savvy by investing in therapy as a tool to mend your working relationships and to ensure the well being of your business. By enlisting the help of our esteemed, competent therapists at Lotus Counseling Center, you can learn skills through therapy that would benefit your business such as...

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